sex
Not the awkward, fluorescent-lit classroom kind with bananas and condoms, the real stuff. Like feeling unsure in the moment, figuring out what feels good (and what really doesn’t), or checking in without killing the vibe. Whether it’s your first time, a situtationship with the hottie from level 4, the love of your life, group sex, or something deliciously undefined, we’ve got you.
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Let's talk about consent baby!
A reminder about the reality of sex
You might be expecting rose petals, moaning in unison, and an orgasm so powerful it opens a portal to a new dimension. That’s all well and good, and hey that may happen, but you also might get some of these and all are NORMAL.
- Queefing (air that comes out of your vagina).
- Fluids. Bodily. Messy.
- Interesting smells. Two bodies working hard means odour. Get used to it.
- Noises. Of the squelch, thud, and “is that the bed or the dog?” variety.
- Tiredness. Halfway through, you may need snacks, a stretch, and maybe a nap.
- No orgasm. Especially if it’s your first time. Totally normal. Focus on comfort, connection, and pleasure, not performance.
Body TLC
You don’t need a 12-step routine or pH-balanced unicorn wash. Just a few basic habits to keep your body comfy, your bits happy, and bacteria in its place.
Before sex
- Wash your hands
- Rinse your toys, even if they’re “clean,” a quick wash with warm water and soap before use never hurts.
- Clean-ish genitals are enough – no need for special soaps or scrubs. A quick shower or warm cloth does the job
- Pee if you need to, not essential but you’ll be more comfortable.
During sex
- Switch condoms between partners or if you're moving between different parts of the body. The same goes for toys.
- Use plenty of lube (we’re talking some slip and slide action)
- Don’t share toys without cleaning or covering them first
- Listen to your body - if something stings, burns, or doesn’t feel right, pause and check in.
- Keep tissues or wet wipes nearby for mid-sesh clean up
The afterpart(Y)
So you’ve just had sex and now you’re peeing in the bathroom next door, and scrolling on here to find out...what next?!
Have we just unlocked a new level of friendship? We're excited!
Sex can stir up all kinds of emotions: closeness, vulnerability, joy, confusion and even grief. None of it is weird, and all of it is valid.
Here’s how emotional aftercare can look:
- Checking in with the other person(s) - ask them how they’re feeling post sex
- Being held, cuddled or simply given space if requested.
- Validating what went well, and/or respectfully naming what didn’t
- Normalising if someone feels teary, giggly, quiet, or “off” and responding to that with care and compassion
- Sending an affirming, heartwarming message later on (unless it was awful, then leave this bit out).
While you’re basking in the post-sex glow (or catching your breath), a few small rituals that your future self will thank you for.
- Pee after sex (especially if you’ve got a vulva, helps prevent UTIs)
- Hydration station! Water, electrolytes, tea whatever floats your boat
- Clean up either with wet wipes or jump in a warm shower
- Wash any toys with warm, soapy water and wipe them dry
- Throw any condoms or dental dams in the bin
- Contraception check-in (if it’s relevant)
Your safe sex survival kit
For the one-nighters, the short-stayers, the lifetimers, and the “I’m not sure what that was”-ers…
This is your bag of good decisions. Like meal prepping on a Sunday or actually following through on your yoga streak, these little habits won’t just make your sex life safer, they’ll make it better.
Condoms
Still the MVP for STI protection, and now available in about a million fun varieties.
Pregnancy Prevention
If pregnancy is something you’re trying to avoid, include whatever method works for you.
Lube
Because everything’s better with a little slip, slide, and less friction (thank us later).
Consent & communication
The real magic-makers: open chats, mutual trust, and a shared “yes” make everything hotter.
STI Testing
Know your status (and your partner’s) before you get started. Otherwise, this will be on your mind during sex and guaranteed you won’t be present.
Hygiene & aftercare
Think clean hands, wet wipes and a post-sex check-in. Small things that go a long way.
Conversation Starters
Use these when you're chilling, walking, watching Netflix, anytime that isn't in the heat of the moment.
Keep these light, sexy, and check-in-y. The goal is to stay present, no need to whip out a script mid-sesh. Do what feels right for you!
Where this info comes from
This page was created using guidance from trusted Australian and international health organisations, clinical guidelines, and peer-reviewed research. These sources support the medical accuracy, accessibility, and lived experience approach behind this content.
- Otten, C. (2021). The sex ed you never had. Allen & Unwin.
