STIs
STIs are just another way we get sick, except instead of catching them from Karen in Accounts coughing on the communal fruit bowl, we catch them from getting naked and having fun. As gloriously germy humans, we’re constantly swapping bacteria and viruses, and STIs are no different. They are common, mostly manageable, and nothing to be ashamed of!
STIs explained
Your guide to testing for STIs
STI's explained
The short-stayers (STI's caused by bacteria and parasites)
Pronounced kluh-MID-ee-uh
Rhymes with “Olivia”, but decidedly less romantic.
What it is: A super common bacterial STI caused by Chlamydia trachomatis.
Spread through: Vaginal, oral, anal sex, as well as shared sex toys (if not cleaned or covered between uses). It can also be passed from parent to baby during birth.
Can’t catch it from: Kissing, hugging, sharing baths, towels, cups, swimming pools, or toilet seats.
Symptoms: Most people don’t notice anything (around 80-90% of cases are symptom-free).
If symptoms do show up, it's normally within 2-14 days after unprotected sex and can include:
If you have a vulva:
- Abnormal vaginal discharge
- Burning when peeing
- Pain during sex
- Bleeding between periods or after sex
- Heavy periods
- Pelvic or lower abdominal pain
- Rectal pain, discharge, or bleeding (if infected via anal sex)
- Sore throat (rare, if oral exposure)
If you have a penis:
- Clear or 'milky' discharge from your penis
- redness at the opening of your penis
- Burning when peeing
- Swollen or painful testicles
- Rectal pain, discharge, or bleeding (if infected via anal sex)
- Sore throat (rare, if oral exposure)
Curable? Yes!
Why it matters: If left untreated, it can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), infertility, ectopic pregnancy, and chronic pelvic pain in people with vulvas and infertility in people with penises. It can also increase the risk of getting or passing on HIV.
Test: A simple pee test or self-swab (taken from inside the vulva, tip of the penis or if you've had oral or anal sex then from either the throat or rectum). It’s a NAAT test, which looks for the bacteria’s DNA.
Prevention: Get tested regularly (especially if under 30 or have new/multiple partners), use condoms and dams every time, and cover toys with condoms.
Treatment: Easily treated with antibiotics (pheww). If you are taking antibiotics to treat Chlamydia, don’t have sex (oral, vaginal or anal), even with a condom for seven days after your course of antibiotics. This helps prevent reinfection or passing it on. Also, partners need to be treated too.
Pronounced trik-uh-moh-NYE-uh-sis
Just say “trich” for short, especially when your tongue gives up halfway.
What it is: A parasitic infection caused by Trichomonas vaginalis.
Spread through: Unprotected vaginal sex or sexual play involving vulvas or penises. Trich is passed through vaginal fluids and semen. It can infect the vulva, vagina, penis, and urethra.
Can’t catch it from: Mouths, hands, or butt stuff (it doesn’t live well in the mouth or rectum).
Symptoms: Most people with Trich don't have any symptoms and feel totally fine. If symptoms do show up it's normally from 3 days to a month after having unprotected sex and can include:
If you have a vulva:
Might feel like a yeast infection or UTI
- Yellow-green frothy discharge with a fishy smell
- Itching, irritation or redness
- Pain when peeing or during sex
- Swelling or soreness of the vulva or vagina
If you have a penis:
- Discharge from the penis
- Needing to pee more than usual
- Burning or pain when peeing
Curable? Yep - 100% treatable!
Why it matters: Untreated Trich can increase your risk of getting or passing on other STIs (like HIV) and may cause pregnancy complications (like pre-term birth or low birth weight).
Test: Usually a vaginal or urethral swab (your GP or sexual health clinic can help). Sometimes a urine test.
Prevention: Use condoms or dams during sex, especially with new or multiple partners. Get tested regularly, especially if you’ve had a partner with symptoms.
Treatment: A single dose or short course of antibiotics. Avoid sex (oral, vaginal, or anal) for 7 days after completing treatment and make sure your partner(s) are treated too. Otherwise, you’ll just pass it back and forth like a game of STI ping-pong.
Pronounced gon-uh-REE-uh
Not to be confused with diarrhoea. Very different vibe altogether.
What it is: A super common bacterial STI that often shows up alongside chlamydia (they’re besties, but not the fun kind). Caused by the bacteria Neisseria gonorrhoeae.
Spread through: Unprotected vaginal, anal, and oral sex. Also through sharing sex toys that aren’t washed or covered between partners.
Can’t catch it from: Kissing, hugging, baths, towels, toilet seats, pools, or sharing cups.
Symptoms: Gonorrhoea can be a silent creeper, many people don’t notice symptoms. But if they do pop up, it's usually within 2-14 days after having unprotected sex with someone who's got gonorrhoea.
If you have a vulva:
- Burning when you pee
- Abnormal discharge that may be yellowish or bloody
- Bleeding between periods
If you have a penis:
- Burning when you pee
- Yellow, white or green discharge from your penis
- Pain or swelling in the testicles
It can also infect the:
- Rectum - itching, discharge, soreness, pain when you poop
- Throat - usually no symptoms (even if it’s there!)
- Eyes - rare, but can cause conjunctivitis (eye redness, pain, discharge)
Curable? Yes, very easy to treat but won't go away by itself.
Why it matters: If left untreated, gonorrhoea can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), infertility, ectopic pregnancy, chronic pain, or inflamed testicles. It also makes it easier to get or pass on HIV.
Test: NAAT test via urine sample (peeing in a cup) or swab.
Prevention: Use condoms or dams during all types of sex, test regularly (every 6-12 months), and cover toys if you’re sharing them.
Treatment: A single dose or short course of antibiotics. Avoid sex (oral, vaginal, or anal) for 7 days after completing treatment and make sure your partner(s) are treated too. Otherwise, you’ll just pass it back and forth like a game of STI ping-pong. Retest after 3 months to make sure you're in the clear.
Pronounced pyoo-bik-lyes and scay-bees
Less like sea creatures, more like tiny pests. We’re getting itchy just thinking about it!
What they are:
Pubic lice (aka "crabs") are tiny parasites (aka bugs that look like mini crabs) that like to set up camp in coarse body hair (not just pubes, also armpits, chest and eyebrows) and feed off your blood. Gross!
Scabies are microscopic mites that burrow under your skin (not ideal).
And nope, it has nothing to do with being dirty or unhygienic. They just spread very easily.
Spread through:
Close skin-to-skin contact, usually during sex. Also through shared bedding, towels, or clothes.
Symptoms:
Public lice (usually start about 5 days after you get them):
- Itching (we're talking intense af)
- Visible tiny bugs or eggs hanging out in your hair (but not on your head, they don't typically like this spot)
- Dark or bluish spots on your skin (this is normally from where the bugs have bitten you...I hope you're not eating whilst reading this!)
- Super fine, gritty remnants in your underwear (you're not going to like this but that their poo)
- Feeling run-down or feverish
Scabies (can take up to 6 weeks after being infected to notice symptoms):
- Itching (we're talking intense af and usually worse at night)
- Small red pimple like bumps or curly lines on skin (especially between fingers, wrists, genitals)
Curable? Yes, easy peasy!
Test:
Pubic lice: You can often spot them crawling or see their eggs with a good look or your phone camera’s triple zoom.
Scabies: Not usually visible, your GP can diagnose based on your symptoms and a skin exam.
Prevention:
Not much you can do besides avoiding close contact, but let’s be real, most of us aren’t giving that up. Just stay alert for symptoms and treat early if needed.
Treatment:
Pubic lice: Special shampoos or creams from the pharmacy. No prescription needed.
Scabies: Prescription creams or medication are usually required, so you'll need to see your doctor.
Things to remember:
- Make sure you wash all clothes, bedding, and towels in hot water and dry on high heat, post-treatment if you do get pubic lice or scabies.
- Avoid close contact until after treatment is done.
- Let partners know so they can treat too, otherwise, you’ll just pass the parasites back and forth (a game of critter ping pong anyone?).
Pronounced SIF-uh-liss
Harsh name. Very 1800s energy. Definitely not needed.
What it is: A bacterial STI caused by Treponema pallidum that unfolds in stages. The main thing about this STI is that it won't go away unless you treat it!
Spread through: Vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Also, through skin-to-skin contact with a syphilis sore (even if it’s tiny and painless).
Can’t catch it from: toilet seats, hugging, towels, or everyday contact.
Symptoms: Often none (which is annoying because it won't go away until it's treated), but when they do show up, they appear in stages:
Stage 1 (primary)
One painless sore (called a chancre, pronounced 'shanker') shows up where the bacteria entered, usually on the genitals, anus, or mouth. It’s round, firm, painless and can be wet or open. It can appear anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months after exposure and disappears on its own, but the infection doesn’t go away. It's easy to mistake this unassuming sore for an ingrown hair or pimple but it's also the most contagious stage. This is the best time to get treated.
Stage 2 (secondary)
The sore has disappeared, but the infection is still lurking. These signs may come and go (we're talking for up to 2 years post infection) but the infection’s still there. You might get:
- A non-itchy rash (often on the palms of your hands or soles of your feet, but can be anywhere)
- Flu-like symptoms (fever, swollen glands, sore throat, fatigue)
- Patchy hair loss
- White patches on the tongue or roof of the mouth
Stage 3 (latent)
This is the in-between phase where there are no symptoms at all. The bacteria lie low. This stage can last for years without a peep. If you don't treat syphilis at this stage, it can remain latent for life or turn into stage 4 syphilis.
Stage 4 (tertiary)
Rare, but serious. Can happen 10-30 years after the initial infection if left untreated. It can damage your brain, nerves, heart, liver, bones, and eyes. Not cute. Syphilis is not infectious but still treatable at this point.
Curable? Yes - especially if caught early.
Why it matters: If untreated, syphilis can cause long-term organ damage, neurological issues, dementia-like symptoms, blindness, and even death. Also increases the risk of HIV transmission.
Test: A blood test can detect syphilis at any stage. If you’ve got a sore, your doctor may also do a swab of the area.
Prevention: Regular STI screening (every 6-12 months) and using condoms or dental dams during all kinds of sex (oral, anal, vaginal).
Treatment: A single injection (typically penicillin, there's alternatives if you're allergic to this though!) usually does the trick in the early stages. Later stages may need multiple injections. If you're treated for syphilis, your partner(s) need treatment too. And you’ll need follow-up blood tests to confirm it’s fully gone. No sex until your doctor gives you the green light!
The clingers (viral STi's)
Pronounced HYOO-mun-PAP-uh-LOH-muh-vy-rus
Just call it HPV. Truly. Also anyone that gets this word at a spelling bee competition, we feel sorry for you.
What it is: The most common STI in the world, with over 100 different types. Some strains are totally harmless. Others can cause genital warts or, more seriously, cancer.
Spread through: Skin-to-skin contact. HPV loves warm, moist areas like the vulva, vagina, penis, scrotum, anus, mouth, and throat. It can spread through vaginal, anal, or oral sex, and even from genital-to-genital contact without penetration or ejaculation.
Symptoms: Usually none, which is what makes it so sneaky. Most people clear it naturally within 1–2 years without ever knowing they had it.
Low-risk types can cause genital warts.
High-risk types can cause abnormal cell changes that may lead to cervical, anal, throat, vulva, penile, or vaginal cancers. These are picked up in your routine cervical screenings.
Curable? Not exactly, but in most cases, the immune system clears it without needing treatment.
Why it matters: Some high-risk strains can silently lead to cancer over time (we're talking over 10-15 years). Regular testing (aka cervical screenings) helps detect changes before they become serious.
Test: Cervical screening (formerly known as a Pap smear) is used to detect HPV or cell changes in people with a cervix.
There’s no routine HPV test for the mouth, throat, anus, or penis but warts can be visually diagnosed.
Prevention:
HPV vaccine (like Gardasil 9) protects against the most harmful strains. It’s usually given at school, but can be caught up later if missed.
Condoms and dental dams lower the risk but don’t fully prevent transmission (because HPV spreads by skin-to-skin).
Regular cervical screenings are crucial, usually every 5 years from age 25–74 in Australia, unless advised otherwise.
Treatment:
Genital warts (low-risk HPV) can be removed with creams, freezing, or minor procedures at your doctor’s clinic.
Pre-cancerous cell changes found on cervical screening can be monitored and treated with procedures like the LLETZ procedure.
Another acronym that’s far easier to say than spell out mid-convo.
What it is: A virus that weakens the immune system over time, the body’s natural defence against infections. HIV targets and destroys CD4 cells (a type of white blood cell), making it harder for your body to fight off your common colds.
Important note: HIV is not the same as AIDS.
- HIV is the virus that's passed from person to person.
- AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is the most advanced stage of HIV (if left untreated), when the immune system is badly damaged and can no longer fight off serious infections.
- You can live a long and healthy life with HIV and never develop AIDS, especially with treatment.
HIV can be passed through:
- Vaginal or anal sex (especially without a condom)
- HIV infected blood getting into open wounds or cuts on the body
- Sharing needles or injecting equipment
- Transmission from parent to baby during birth or breastfeeding
Can’t catch it from: kissing, hugging, sharing food, cups, or toilets.
Symptoms: Often none at first. Within 2-6 weeks of exposure, some people get flu-like symptoms: fever, sore throat, fatigue, headache, swollen glands. People with vulvas often experience menstrual cycle changes, thrush, bacterial vaginosis, and pelvic inflammatory disease as their first symptoms of HIV. After that, HIV can stay silent for years. Without treatment, it gradually weakens the immune system.
Why it matters: HIV can lead to AIDS (takes about 10 years) and serious infections or death if not treated.
Curable? Not yet. But it is very treatable and manageable for life (thanks to modern medicine).
Test: A blood test or finger-prick test (literally takes 10-20 mins to get results) detects HIV antibodies or antigens. You'll need to wait at least 4 weeks after exposure to get an accurate reading on the test.
Prevention:
- Condoms (internal or external) during sex (vaginal, anal and oral)
- PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis): a daily pill that is 99% effective at protecting you from HIV if taken consistently
- PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis): emergency anti-HIV medication that can be taken within 72 hours of potential exposure to HIV
- Never share injecting equipment
- Regular STI testing every 6-12 months
Treatment: ART (antiretroviral therapy) is a daily mix of medications that suppresses the virus and means that you can live a long and healthy life with HIV. ART doesn’t cure HIV, but it keeps it under control and means you can't pass it onto people that you have sex with.
Pronounced HER-peas
The name has been through a PR disaster but the condition itself is super manageable.
What it is: A super common viral infection. There are two different types - HSV-1 and HSV-2. Both can make sores pop up on and around your vulva, vagina, cervix, anus, penis, testicles, butt, inner thighs, mouth, throat and sometimes eyes.
Spread through: Skin-to-skin contact with someone who has the virus. This includes kissing, vaginal, anal or oral sex, and even sharing sex toys. Herpes can spread even when there are no visible sores (this is called “asymptomatic shedding”).
Symptoms: Some people have no idea they’ve got it (many never have symptoms). But when symptoms do appear, especially during a first outbreak (this normally happens 2-20 days after having sex with someone who has herpes), they might include:
- Burning/pain when you pee
- Itching
- Tingling, itching or burning in the genital or anal area
- Small, fluid-filled blisters that burst, crust over, and heal
- Genital pain or discomfort
- Flu-like symptoms (fever, headache, body aches, swollen glands)
Why it matters: It’s lifelong (the virus stays dormant in the body), but very manageable. It doesn’t get worse over time and won’t damage your health or fertility. The biggest thing is caring for your body and communicating openly with your partner(s).
Curable? Sadly, no. But it’s very manageable! You can live a full, healthy, happy sex life with herpes.
Test: A swab test taken from a blister or sore is the most accurate. Blood tests exist but aren't recommended for general screening. They can’t tell where the virus is or when you got it, and false positives are possible. Pap smears/cervical screenings do not detect herpes.
Prevention:
- Use condoms or dental dams, especially with new sexual partners.
- Use a lubricant with the condom to reduce the risk of irritating the sensitive skin around the genital area.
- Avoid sex (oral, vaginal, anal) during an outbreak.
- Be open with partners! Most people will respond with kindness, not stigma.
Treatment: No cure, but there’s antiviral medication to shorten or prevent outbreaks and reduce the risk of passing it on. Staying healthy, managing stress, and getting enough rest can help reduce outbreaks too!
First outbreak basics:
- Start antivirals within 5 days (the sooner the better) of symptoms showing up to reduce healing time and lower transmission risk.
- You’ll usually take tablets for 5-10 days.
- Blisters crust and heal in about 5-10 days, but the full episode can last 2-4 weeks.
- Sores usually heal without scarring.
- The first outbreak is usually the most intense. Future ones are normally milder and shorter.
Ongoing outbreaks:
- No cure, but your body builds antibodies over time. That means shorter, less painful flare-ups. Some people never get another one, others get occasional outbreaks.
- Triggers can include: Being sick or rundown, stress (classic), periods, friction from sex or masturbation, sun exposure (for oral herpes), tight/synthetic underwear, alcohol and smoking
Pronounced hep-uh-TY-tiss bee
Not a variety of bee, although wouldn’t that bee nice?
What it is: A viral infection that affects the liver. Hep B can be short-term (acute) or stick around for life (chronic), depending on how your body responds to it.
Spread through: mainly blood-to-blood transmission. This can be through things like sharing toothbrushes, razors, needles or unsterilised tattooing or piercing equipment with someone who has HBV. It can also be spread through vaginal, anal or oral sex and from parent to baby during birth.
Can’t catch it from: hugging, kissing, coughing, or sharing food or drinks.
Symptoms: Most people don’t have any symptoms. But if they do, symptoms normally start 2-3 months after getting infected with HBV. They might experience:
- Fatigue/feeling really tired
- Jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes)
- Dark pee
- Pale poos
- Nausea
- Joint or belly pain
- Not feeling hungry
- Fever
Why it matters: In some people, the body clears the virus on its own. In others, it becomes chronic, meaning it stays in the body long-term and can slowly damage the liver over years. If left untreated chronic Hep B can lead to liver scarring (cirrhosis), liver failure, or liver cancer.
Curable? Acute Hep B often clears on its own with rest and care. Chronic Hep B isn’t curable (yet), but it can be managed with ongoing medical treatment to protect your liver and reduce the risk of complications.
Test: A blood test will show whether you’ve been infected, whether you’ve cleared the virus, or whether it’s chronic. It can also check if you’re immune (from past infection or vaccination.
Prevention:
- Vaccination! This is your best shield and part of many childhood immunisation programs and 95% effective.
- Use condoms or dental dams during sex.
- Never share needles or piercing/tattoo equipment.
- Regular STI screenings are a good idea, especially if you weren’t vaccinated or are at higher risk.
Treatment: If you clear the virus naturally (in acute cases), rest and fluids are usually all you need. Chronic Hep B can be treated with antiviral medications to slow liver damage and reduce your viral load. These are usually taken long-term. If you are in this boat, It’s important to see your doctor regularly to monitor liver health and prevent serious complications.
What to say when making an appointment to get an STI test
If you tell the receptionist or booking system the right keywords upfront, you’re more likely to get the right type of appointment (e.g. longer consult, specific tests, or seeing the right specialist).
“I’d like to book an appointment for STI testing.”
No need to give details to the receptionist, but if asked: “It’s routine” or “I have a new partner” are perfectly fine responses.
Conversation Starters
You could write these down on a piece of paper or in your phone before the appointment. You can literally read them to your GP/OB-GYN. Who cares what they think - they will most likely be super impressed by your organisational skills!
You could write these down on a piece of paper or in your phone before the appointment. You can literally read them to your GP/OB-GYN. Who cares what they think - they will most likely be super impressed by your organisational skills!
How to tell your partner(s) you've got an STI
So you’ve found out you have an STI. It happens! You’re not gross, you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone, you’re just…human. A sexy, complicated, bacteria-harbouring human. Like the rest of us!
Now, you might be thinking:
Cool, cool, cool…so now I have to tell [insert name of hot person I’ve recently frolicked with].
Before you throw your phone into the sea and start a new life as a goat herder in the mountains, take a deep breath. This is doable. You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.
1. Know thy sti (before you share thy sti news)
Before you slide into ‘the talk’, make sure you’ve got your facts straight.
Make sure you know:
- What STI you’ve got
- How it’s transmitted
- Whether it’s curable, treatable, or just one of those “manage and move on” situations
- What it means for your partner and your sex life
2. Pick your moment
As much as we’d all love to whisper “I have a herpes” into someone’s ear while they’re mid-REM sleep and then go back to spooning, this deserves a proper moment.
Go for: A calm, private place where you can both talk freely.
Avoid: In the middle of a fight, just before sex, or mid-sip of a cocktail at brunch.
If face-to-face feels like too much, a phone or video call is completely okay, especially if you’re in the early stages of things and haven’t decided if you’d accompany them to Granny Margaret’s 90th birthday yet.
3. Be clear, empathetic and unapologetic
Say what you need to say, empathetically (for all involved) and unapologetically.
Here’s a sample script:
“Hey, I was just doing my routine STI tests and it turns out I have {insert STI name}. I wanted to let you know so that you can get tested too. I didn’t have any symptoms, and you may not either, but just to be safe."
Or
“Hey, I need to chat to you before we go any further. I have {Insert STI name}. It's not a big problem. I manage it, but I thought I should tell you before we keep going.”
This says:
- I’m honest and upfront.
- I’ve taken responsibility for my health.
- I respect you and want to keep you in the loop.
Win-win-win in our books.
FYI - You don’t owe anyone an apology for your STI status. Remove any “I’m sorry to tell you this” energy from the chat. You’ve done nothing wrong. STIs are a normal part of being sexually active. This isn’t a confession, it’s communication. And that’s not just responsible, it’s sexy.
4. Brace for feelings (theirs, and yours)
People can react in all kinds of ways.
You might get:
- Support and understanding (bless, we love this!)
- Awkwardness, fear, or frustration (normal human stuff)
- Anger or blame (not yours to carry, you’re doing the right thing)
- Confusion and questions (cue: facts you prepared earlier!)
Let them have their feelings. Let yourself have yours, too. Just keep reminding yourself: having an STI is not a moral failing. It’s just a thing. Like a common cold, but with worse PR.
5. Plot your next move
This is where the team vibes come in.
You can offer to:
- Get tested together
- Chat through treatment options
- Explore safer ways to have sex moving forward
6. This doesn't define you
Millions, yes, millions of people have STIs and still live fantastic, love-filled, orgasm-rich lives. This conversation doesn’t have to be the beginning of the end. It can be the start of something even more open, respectful, and connected.
And if it’s not? You still showed up with integrity and courage. You’re being responsible and sexy. Which btw is a very cool combo.
Expectations
vs reality
How to ask someone if they've been tested
Asking “when was your last STI test?” shouldn’t feel like you’re accusing someone of a crime or asking them to show you their year 8 school photo. It should be standard. Like applying SPF. Like recycling. Like turning off the oven when you leave your home.
Someone who openly tells you their STI status and when they last got tested. Is. A. Turn. On. It’s giving: “I care about my body and yours, and I want us both to have great, safe, sexy fun.”
- “Just a heads up, I got tested last month and I’m all clear. How about you?”
- “When was your last STI check? I just had mine, and figured it’s a good habit to share.”
- “Before we jump into bed/each other’s pants/this whirlwind romance, can we talk about testing and protection real quick?”
These kinds of questions don’t (well maybe shouldn't) kill the vibe. We're setting a new standard where these are the foreplay to creating the vibe. All aboard the train to vibe station!
They say: I’m a responsible human, I communicate clearly, I’m interested in your well-being, not just what's in your underwear. HOT!
If someone huffs and puffs, deflects, or makes you feel weird for bringing it up, like you’ve just suggested they clean out the garage and organise it Marie Kondo style, that's not a green flag. That’s a flaming, flapping, full-body red flag.
You deserve partners who are as grown-up about sexual health as they are about splitting the bill or buying toilet paper before it runs out.
Asking about STI testing is not ‘too much’, it’s the bare f*cking minimum!
Your Sexy Lil STI survival kit
Think of this as the bumbag of sexual wellness: small but mighty, and packed with good stuff to keep you and your partner(s) safe.
Get tested regularly
If you’re sexually active (with one partner or many), aim to get tested every 3-6 months.
Get vaccinated
For HPV and hepatitis B (and sometimes hep A), because your future self has better things to do!
Your besties: Condoms & Dental Dams
During vaginal, anal and oral sex, and definitely when sharing toys. Your future self will thank you.
let your partner(s) know
Whether it’s a convo, a text, or an anonymous message, it’s a simple step that helps everyone stay safe.
Know when to test
Timing is key with any STI test. Too early and you won't pick anything up, too late and it may be more serious. Kinda like porridge - it's gotta be "just right".
Look after your immune system
Getting enough sleep, managing stress, and eating a balanced diet… It’s the behind-the-scenes hero of your sexual health.
Things aren't going to plan
So, things didn’t go exactly to script. That’s okay. This is real life, not a rom-com with a neatly wrapped monologue and a slow fade to soft lighting. We'll grab the snacks and you bring the dilemma. Let’s unpack this lil situtation.
Totally understandable. Sitting under fluorescent lighting discussing your sex life with someone who also gives your nan her blood pressure meds? Yeah, awkward.
Try this instead: Use an online service like Stigma Health or Updoc (or check your local sexual health website). You can order STI test kits to your home, pee in peace, and send it back in the post. Discreet. Fast. No eye contact necessary.
The convo feels...scary. What if they get angry? What if they ghost me? What if they tell everyone?
Here’s the thing: you’re doing the right thing. Telling them is respectful and responsible, not shameful.
Try this: Use a free, anonymous service like Let Them Know. It sends them a text or email without your name, letting them know they should get tested.
Take a deep breath. This happens. A lot. You’re not dirty. You’re not reckless. You’re just human.
Here’s what to do:
- Don’t panic, but get on top of it asap.
- Book an STI test ASAP (via your GP or an online clinic)
- Ask your doctor about PEP (for HIV, if applicable, within 72 hours) or emergency STI screening.
- Retest in a few weeks if needed (see our “STI's & testing guide" for the help with timing).
Yep. Frustrating. But also? Very common. STIs can hang out in your body for weeks, months, even years without making a peep. So trying to pinpoint where it came from could be a messy, thankless guessing game.
Remember: You’re not a detective and you don’t need to be one. Hunting down a “culprit”oesn’t help anyone (including you), except maybe to spark unnecessary drama or make awkward accusations.
The best thing you can do is focus on getting treated, telling your current or recent partners, and taking care of you.
The “down-there drama” is confusing. Burning when you pee, weird discharge, itchy bits. UTI? Thrush? STI? Period gremlin?
Here's what to do:
- Don’t self-diagnose…especially using Dr Google.
- Get a check-up. Your doctor can run urine tests, swabs or bloods and get to the root cause of the problem pretty quickly.
- STI and UTI symptoms can overlap, but only a test can tell you for sure.
Where this info comes from
This page was created using guidance from trusted Australian and international health organisations, clinical guidelines, and peer-reviewed research. These sources support the medical accuracy, accessibility, and lived experience approach behind this content.
- BetterHealth Channel - Sexually transmissable infections (STIs)
- Healthdirect Australia - Sexually Transmitted Infections
- STI Guidelines Australia
- The Royal Women’s Hospital - About STIs
- Sexual Reproductive Health Australia
- Stop the rise of STIs
- Healthy WA - sexually transmissable infections
- Queensland Government - Sexually transmissable infections
- Transhub - STIs
- Healthdirect Australia - screening for STIs
- Reach out - STIs
- Melbourne Sexual Health Centre - sexual health fact sheets
- The Drama Downunder
- World Health Organization - Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)
- Mayo Clinic - Sexually Transmitted Dieases
- NHS UK - Sexually transmitted infections
- Kids Health - STDs (Sexually transmitted diseases)
- Brook UK - Sexually transmitted infections
- Planned Parenthood - what are STDs?
- American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists - how to prevent STIs
- Otten, C. (2021). The sex ed you never had. Allen & Unwin.
